On the day that so many Americans lost their lives and our world, as we knew it, was changed for ever, I can't help but think about the journey of healing. America, NYC especially, has done amazing things since that day when tragedy hit us. I know for those of us that were alive on that day, we remember exactly where we were. We remember our feelings of being frightened, confused, sad, angry and just numb. All the feelings that come when something horrific, tragic, and unimaginable happens.
When we are faced with the loss of something, we find ourselves in a world of hurt. Sometimes, we are told to "get over it". In my experience, personally and professionally, that's not how healing works. It's messy!! The more painful the experience, the messier the healing can be for us. We find ourselves going through different stages, such as depression, anger, denial, bargaining, and acceptance. They come in any order and can switch at a moment’s notice. Even years after!
It can be hard navigating. We will never be able to replace what we have lost. We can only learn how to create a new normal. The good news is, if there is any during a time of such pain, that there is no right or wrong way for us to find a new normal. (as long as we aren’t hurting our self or others).
We have to create space for new things to enter our lives that will bring us a different kind of happiness. Be gentle with yourself. Grief changes something inside of us. We aren’t the same person as before. And, that is okay. It is a personal journey and it is at our own speed. It's finding a new way of being after experiencing something that changes something inside of us forever.
Let it hurt. Let it heal. Let it go. Repeat.
Repeat as many times as needed. Time doesn't take the pain away. Time allows us to get better at dealing with the sucky feelings and bouncing back quicker each time. Keep moving forward, no matter how small. Let's take our pain and turn it into something good. Let's learn how to become a new and improved version of our selves through our journey of healing.
Trauma is change we didn't get to choose. Healing is change we do choose.
America, we are the definition of resilience. We were knocked down, blindsided. Then, we regrouped and found our power within to get back up. We have shown that we will keep moving forward. We created something new that is beautiful in its own right. And, because we choose to heal, we will forever honor the lives that we lost that day.